Let's now jump back 10 months ago to last autumn when I hit emotional and financial rock bottom in Central Park in New York City. I was scared out of my mind about how I would get through. My stress level at times was about 9 out of 10. I used my tools, learned the power of joy, trust and gratitude, and breathed through it.
I made a decision right after pulling out of that difficult time that I was done worrying about money, and I declared to the sky that I was ready to have abundance be my only story.
I have an update for you, fellow life adventurers. For the past 10 months I have been diligently holding to my word. I have worked very hard to follow a daily system of nourishing myself in a singular environment of abundance. It felt like I was actually changing the air I was breathing. Day and night, my new rich oxygen flowed through my blood to my brain, flooding every cell with the message of abundance. With respect to external opinions, polluted facts and every energy-draining reality around me, I determined to make no room for any voice saying anything besides abundance abundance abundance. Every day I listened to audios, read books, wrote in my dream book, and played prosperity games of all kinds.
It seems that I felt ready to test me out. What has occurred in my life in the last three months has made the challenging rock bottom events from last autumn seem like smelling roses. The test started the very night I flew into Bucharest, Romania on May 1 when I accidentally dropped my laptop. $650 worth of computer repair later, I continued to receive news of unexpected expenses from other places, such as repairs from my house in Salt Lake City, Utah. Dollar signs kept slipping away from me like uprooted trees in a landslide. $824 sliding away over here, $587 sliding over there...Starting from May 1 until August 1, my life's landslide test has totaled about $10,000 of unexpected expenses. This number does not even include my daily living, travel costs, accommodations, plane tickets, food, etc.
It's a funny thing. I would not have been able to handle this financial pressure 10 months ago. I would have broken down. I might have quit the project. I am realizing now that because of the full, rich oxygen and nourishment I have given myself, my stress level has barely made a 2 out of 10. It lingers at about a 1.5. This, my friends, is something I am celebrating today. I am not faking the peace and security I feel. Would it feel completely invalidating to you if I shared that stressing about money even feels a bit boring to me? I'm just so over it. Almost $10,000 of unexpected expenses in two months?! It's just too much, and it's just too ridiculous. How can an unknown dreamy-eyed musician with nothing but a suitcase and guitar, who's giving FREE performances around the world and who talks incessantly about your freaking dreams afford...REAL LIFE?
I have given myself no option besides being curious, being humored, and more than ever, just pressing on. Because here's the thing: it's also just as ridiculous to witness how it's all panning out.
Money comes in right when I need it, in the most divine timing that you'd never even believe if I told you. Every time, and with no exceptions. When another unexpected "scary" expense came in recently that totaled $1,530, I took it seriously, but it also felt almost endearing. Loud thunder at night just isn't scary anymore. Stressing about money is not a very fun way to experience the storm. I'm learning it takes time, patience and consistency to re-program the brain, but I am showing myself that it's possible.
I'm sharing these details with you, especially if you are also giving your cells rich oxygenated air of abundance abundance abundance. It's useful for us to remind each other that our stories about stressing over money can be archived.
As I navigate through my life dreams, I count on these three points being true.
1. My dreams will always be too expensive.
2. There will always be unexpected expenses.
And the third point is quite relevant for my personal $10,000 story. The following video clip (1 minute, 35 seconds) was recorded during that same first week of May in Bucharest, Romania when this all began. In a light conversation documented by my sister, I humorously asked the Universe for $10,000.
3. I can have an abundant, peaceful relationship with money, no matter whether it's coming or going.
Good one, Universe, and wow how strange that your lesson was exactly to the dollar. I realize now that when I asked for that extra $10,000, what I was really asking for was the feelings of peace, security, and freedom that I felt money brings. The Universe answered my request fully, teaching me that money itself will never be able to give those feelings to me.
I give those to me.
If you're considering a new relationship with money, I support you in knowing you can have it. I have quite a bit to learn as I make my way to the next level of my relationship with money.
(Hmmm..what new money games shall I play?)
For now, I'm basking in financial peace, $10,000 worth.
One of my money games is to receive $1,000 a month from patrons who believe in my international "Dream Walk" project.
Become a patron by pledging $5 a month.
Your gift allows me to give FREE performances around the world.
Learn more at www.themillionkisses.org
And THANK YOU for walking this journey with me.